well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
