I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
