he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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