So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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