On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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