"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
