Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
