yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
