I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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