I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
