im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
