Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
