If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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