Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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