I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize