so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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