omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
