I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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