The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
