Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
