we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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