is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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