I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
