with your own penis?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
