im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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