Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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