Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
i think my cat just said my name.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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