Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
