anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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