I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
