i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
