The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
