I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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