Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize