She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
