i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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