Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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