dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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