Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
