she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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