we're chasing vodka with high fives
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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