i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
