so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
