All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
