Dual....:-)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
