Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
