It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The uberlube is also flammable
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
