Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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