i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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