youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize