Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
