totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
