Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
