Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
