Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize