We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
