In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
