he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
pray to the hookup gods
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
