week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
