So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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