i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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